September 2, 2017


Sexual health is a sensitive issue, and it can be difficult to discuss, both with your partner and your health provider. You might be worried about losing the admiration of your spouse, or you might feel embarrassed about what you perceive as a sexual ‘abnormality’.

While it can be challenging to seek the kind of advice that can either reassure you or solve your sexual problem, you can always start by diagnosing yourself. This is unwise for serious complications, but it does give you a place to start.

Sexual dysfunction presents differently in women and men. Men are often concerned with how to last longer in bed, and their partners are equally likely to seek ways to help them do that. In women, the issue is often one of sexual avoidance because of underlying issues.

Male patients often approach doctors for premature ejaculation solutions, because they feel this will solve all their bedroom problems. Other things to look out for include a loss of interest in sex. It doesn’t just mean a man doesn’t want sex. If he finds that he no longer wants to fantasise, be intimate with his partner, or even feel arousal, there might be an issue.

The other side of uncontrolled ejaculation is when a man is unable to attain orgasm. He may have a sustained erection during penetration, and his seemingly unquenchable stamina may be good for his partner, but if he’s unable to ejaculate, something might need to be addressed.

In a related matter, a man may find that he is persistently erect in non-sexual situations. This may be a matter of mental activity, unplanned fantasies, or physical stimulation from brushing against the fabric. It might also happen with no apparent form of stimulation.

If it persists and becomes awkward, it might interfere with his sex life, so he may need to get some advice on the matter. Similar to this context is when a man can only achieve orgasm in ‘taboo’ activities that are considered inappropriate by his partner.

While proclivities are not necessarily an issue in themselves, they can alienate him from his partner. If he is unable to safely share his fetishes with his partner, or if his partner is unable to participate in these ‘taboo’ activities, it will negatively affect their sexual relationship, so it does need to be addressed.

Women experience similar sexual problems, though they are not displayed in the same way. When a woman loses interest in sex, it might be triggered by vaginal dryness, low arousal, painful penetration, or few to no orgasms.

These may well be medical matters related to hormones and menstrual cycles, but they may also be organic issues. If they are relational issues, then they can be solved through communication, technique, and prolonged foreplay.

With patience, training, and care, both the woman and her partner can resolve these issues together. If this kind of sexual therapy doesn’t work, it may help for the woman and her partner to consult an expert on how they can improve their bedroom activities.

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