March 2, 2018


So, your partner has told you that you’re a fast ejaculator. What do they really mean here? Faster than their previous partners? Faster than they’d like?

If your partner has sprung this on you and you are confused as to what to do now, then don’t worry – we’ve got the answers for you.

Try not to get defensive about it

Sometimes, when someone criticizes us, especially when it comes to matters of the bedroom, our natural response is to get defensive or shut down. This is not going to be beneficial to your relationship. If you do find this happening, just say that you’d like some time to think about it and come back when you’re calm and ready to chat.

Ask them more questions about it

While it can be difficult asking partners about their prior sexual experience, in this case, it can be relevant information. Why do they think you’re a fast ejaculator? How much faster are you than previous partners? Is it making them unhappy? Is there anything that they think helps you not to ejaculate so fast? These are all valid questions to ask.

Do some research

Presumably, that’s what you’re doing right now. You can learn more about premature ejaculation through health sites like BetterHealth (a Victorian government initiative). The best sites to visit are generally those that are government or professionally sponsored – as they will have correct, up to date material, unlike personal blogs. This will give you a broad idea about the condition – and whether you do have a sexual health issue.

Seek professional assistance

If you determine that it is a problem then getting professional help is the way forward. You can either go straight to a sex therapist.

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