Sex is the primary component of human reproduction. And unlike other organisms, humans are capable of having sex purely for pleasure. The average animal’s sex drive is driven by biology, which is why they only mate when they’re on heat. Human beings, on the other hand, can be physically primed for sex by something as simple as a glance.
Since sex is the most common way to maintain the human population, why is it so difficult to talk about? The main argument is that sex is a private matter, just like bathroom activities, and those aren’t publicly discussed either.
Sex is probably more taboo because of its raw sensuality. For most people, sex places them at their most physically vulnerable. Most people take off their clothes to have sex, exposing all the physical features and flaws to their partner. They probably don’t talk about their curves and bumps with anyone else, not even at the swimming pool or gym.
In addition to potential physical insecurities, sex can expose other sensitivities, like premature ejaculation. The biggest barrier to openly discussing sex is comparison. Conservative societies imply that sex should be kept for marriage, so virgins are not expected to talk or think about it. Once a couple is married, there’s nothing to compare it to.
At this point, such couples are expected to keep all their household dealings private, especially bedroom matters. But even among liberal societies, the fear of comparison makes sex taboo. We are afraid that if we honestly share our sexual details, we will realise that we are abnormal, that our proclivities are inappropriate, that our sexual performance is subpar.
Ironically, the opposite is true. While many modern people do talk about sex, it’s done superficially. We discuss magazine articles, porn star moves, rumours, and myths, without getting into real human sexual interaction. And since we’re all talking about ideas propagated by pop culture, we’ll never know if there’s any truth in it.
When you get tips on how to last longer in bed from a college locker room or a magazine full of artificially enhanced models, it’s likely that the information was ‘photoshopped’ as well. The only way to get real information about sex is to have real conversations with real people. Discuss what they do in the bedroom, how, why, and without judgement.
It’s difficult to do this when nobody can have these intimate conversations without fibbing or squirming, but it’s the only way to promote healthy, genuine sexual interaction. If we can talk about sex as openly as we talk about coffee, we’ll all be happier, safer, and more satisfied.